For some time now I have noticed that much of the dis-ease that people carry in terms of self-esteem and the capacity to be happy, balanced, have good mental health and resilience, correlates with their innate sense of worth.
Where does this come from?
Is it nature or nurture?
I believe that we are not all born the same. We each come from ancestors that arise out of their own unique histories. Triumphs of survival, joy and love, as well as struggle, tragedy and trauma. This is shown by the research in epigenetics, that the present generation not only receive DNA, but also the emotional environment of former generations as well.
So it is not too surprising to me, that if we enter a maternity ward full of new born babies, we find a wide variation of their responses to their arrival into physicality. Some are happy and gurgling, placid and content, others are highly twitchy and nervous, while some appear to be in a rage. We may call these initial states, innate personal qualities that accompany us into the world. This may come through our ancestry, (past generations) or our experience in the womb and of birthing. Alternatively, for those who have a belief in reincarnation, this emotional state may come with their soul into this life. Already imprinted with qualities from the past, as they enter the next phase; a series of lives on their spiritual journey. Regardless of your beliefs here, there appears to be an innate quality in new born babies that is unique to each.
Much of what we carry as human beings is unconscious and systemic, coming in with DNA on a river of life force and love from one generation to the next to each of us. Of ‘nature nurture’, we may call this nature.
If we imagine a child coming into the world as a vulnerable bundle of totally unguarded emotional consciousness, that is open to soaking up the vibrational energy of its field (environment), we have the beginnings of their personal life experience taking form. Experiences that form their personal biography.
There is no doubt that how they are welcomed into the world is significant to their sense of worth. If it is cold and clinical, or their mother is distracted, exhausted, suffering pain or trauma from the birth, or alternatively, relaxed and inspired to welcome her child in with love, the child will feel it and take it in. The distance and the coolness, or the love and welcome. The child takes in what-ever they experience.
Formative experiences in life are significant and often have long lasting effects in forming personal biography that includes their experience of the life.
The way the child experiences significant others is pivotal, in developing their sense of worth. If a child feels love and joy and touch and warmth from their parents, they are likely to feel a healthy sense of worth. If the child experiences emptiness, coolness or lack of touch, not being seen or heard and not made to feel precious or special, they are likely to make an assessment of themselves as unworthy. This initial sense of worth often remains with them for life. Through their schooling, relationships and career and most of all their sense of worth and wellbeing.
Further, negative experiences of self-worth are often reaffirmed in further life events, that confirm their sense of unworthiness. On the other hand, the positive effects of feeling worthy tend to be reaffirm, in shining out and often attracting good fortune and opportunities.
In the case of what we are born into in our family system, with its entanglements, complexities and loyalties, people may be assisted significantly through the process of Systemic Family Constellations. This is a way of assisting the people in at last, finding a healthy place, so that they may experience being part of the family system in a good way. This is frequently a profound experience. From here they are able if they choose, to receive the love that is always at the core of families, (even highly dysfunctional families).
In the case of any sense of unworthiness, disturbances or trauma formed from lived experiences, as part of personal biography, Emotional Mind Integration is a powerful brief intervention for self-healing and recovery. This is a complementary approach to the constellation process in resolving the personal unconscious aspects of the issue. This enables self-healing of the disturbed emotional mind states through healing pathways and self-love to take place. In terms of nature or nurture we may consider what takes place in lived experience, nurture.
Why I felt the need to create Emotional Mind Integration.
I have found Family Constellations to be a powerful, efficient, brief and experiential way for individuals to find their place in their family system and repair faulty attachments with parents, come out of entanglements and inappropriate loyalties. Creating a place where they may receive the love that is available to them in their system.
In my early years as a Family Constellations practitioner, I thought that this would be suitable for most issues. However, over time I realised that many people may have issues arising from lived experiences as well. Also vitally empowering for wellbeing in adulthood is the ability to come to a place of being able to love themselves as well. This is because the idea that ancestry and it is the role of parents to be able to fulfil all of our needs as an adult, is unrealistic. Parents do the best they can with what they have, or what they know and love their children for the most part. However, as adults it is part of our maturation to be able to accept our parents with gratitude for our life the life and then learn how to accept and love ourselves as well. This is why I developed Emotional Mind Integration, to complete the process of developing a good sense of worth and esteem. Emotional Mind Integration (EMI) has been designed with empowerment and self-love in mind. EMI utilises the latest finding in neuroscience that demonstrates that the brain is neuroplastic. This means that it has the ability to form new neural pathways and under appropriate therapeutic conditions self-heal.
This combination of systemic (Family Constellations) and personal biography self-healing (Emotional Mind Integration) is Rapid Core Healing. Through both avenues, the systemic and the personal, love heals. Heals in a way that reduces the space for dis-ease to manifest in terms of mental health.
As a psychotherapist I have been on a journey of discovering the most vital ingredients for healing and recovery. I have found that using Rapid Core Healing is deeply foundational, as it accesses the roots of problems and provides the knowledge, skills and techniques for homeostasis, (recovery, healing and wellbeing).
While this may sound simple, it requires immense sensitivity, collaboration with the client and skill and is profound in assisting them on their self-healing journey in only a few sessions.
I look forward to a time when such deep and effective healing knowledge and processes are well known and available in every street and suburb, so that individuals and families feel entitled and empowered to live well and reach their full potential as human being in lives well-lived and most of all, enjoyed.
Individual training groups
If you are a practitioner, psychotherapist, psychologist, social worker and would like to be better equipped in your work to assist people with recovery of trauma and sexual abuse, please see my training options below, Rapid Core Healing and Recovery From Sexual Abuse.
If you are involved in an organisation working in the areas of rape crisis, or trauma recovery, I am available for discussions about how this knowledge may be engaged to assist you and your workplace in becoming both trauma informed and trauma skilled through initial introductory workshops and possible training options.
International Online Training is taking place now, that is Trauma Informed AND Trauma Skilled for personal and systemic recovery from sexual abuse and trauma as a powerful and deeply effective, brief intervention.
Recovery From Sexual Abuse Rapid Core Healing
Emotional Mind Integration Family Constellations
For More information about Yildiz HERE
Yildiz Sethi is the founder of Rapid Core Healing and Emotional Mind Integration. A leading pracademic and innovator in Mind Science, who provides a range of online trainings for ‘people who help people’ and the author of;
Rapid Core Healing Pathways to Growth and emotional healing:
Using the dual approach of Family Constellations and Emotional Mind Integration, for personal and systemic health. Amazon
For those involved in this industry please go to my webpage where you will find more in depth information of this subject. HERE
Feel free to ask any questions or contact me HERE
For two further articles on Love and its healing capacity see
Love Heals based on Family Constellations HERE
Love Heals based on Rapid Core Healing HERE