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Yildiz Sethi

Go Beyond Limitations

The Psychotherapist 

This is the first of three blogs exploring these questions with Yildiz.

1 What is it about the therapist that is required in the therapeutic process for optimal outcomes?

2 What is it about the therapy that is required in the therapeutic process for optimal outcomes for client progress or recovery?

3 What is it about the client that is required in the therapeutic process for optimal outcomes for client progress or recovery?

When I use the word psychotherapist I include counsellors, hypnotherapists, mental health workers, psychologists and social workers. People who help people.

1 What is it about the psychotherapist or counsellor that is required in the therapeutic process for optimal outcomes?  

 We are highly relational beings requiring love and connection for wellbeing. Psychotherapists and counsellors enter their profession often with a sense of purpose and the intention of making a difference to those who seek their services.   

However, psychotherapists are human. They come from a family system with history, conditioning, culture and their own life experiences and an innate personality and outlook on life. Most of this is held unconsciously in the mind, body. This is both positive and problematic, simultaneously.  

In seeking help, clients seek human connection. Someone they can relate to, who sees and hears them with understanding and compassion and assists them in finding solutions, new perspective or assists in their healing journey. Most of all they need someone they can trust.  

The problem for an aware psychotherapist is, how can they prevent their own problems, triggers, biases and preferences from seeping into the therapeutic relationship?  

Counsellors and psychotherapists are required to take part in clinical supervision for the whole of their professional lives. This provides them with a regular safe, confidential, professional space with their supervisor of choice, to discuss professional or therapeutic conflicts, ethical dilemmas and to highlight any entanglements, unconscious bias or avoidances that may be occurring with clients.  

In my experience, while this is helpful, many inner conflicts and unmet needs may still slip through, undetected.   

I know that in the education of counselling and psychotherapy, there is a lot of emphasis on theory, reflection, role play, reading, assignments and discussion. As a former educator in ACAP, I know all of this is essential. However, a lot still goes under the radar, as we seek to protect our vulnerabilities in avoiding going deeper in a teaching forum for many reasons. We may not feel safe to open up in a traditional education forum as this is normally not set up sufficiently as a therapeutic space.  

The trainings I offer are experiential. I know that for change or inner resolutions or healings to take place, it needs to involves the whole of who you are. Many people do embark on their inner healing journey alongside their education courses, which I highly commend. However, many believe, perhaps because of common beliefs, that cognitions and understanding are paramount. That in learning about counselling or psychotherapy philosophy , theory, techniques and practice that somehow they will be transformed sufficiently through the course process into personal growth. They may indeed gain awareness and knowledge and skills, that are cognition and mind based primarily. This is only one level of growth.  

If they embark on a course where experiential learning is a strong component of their education, the learning will be more embodied.  

In entering training with live, experiential learning, that involve opportunities to experience themselves and what they hold deep within, the learning is deeper and more profound personal development. Particularly if this takes place in a safe, well structured, compassionate yet professional holding space. From such trainings people emerge with the professional knowledge and skills and also growth and with clearer boundaries and less entanglements.  

I believe clients’ sense whether a therapist has or is dealing with their own emotional baggage and have or are in the process of coming through them with greater wisdom of the complexities we all face of being human. 

This provides a sense of safety, and space for the client in the presence of a psychotherapist who has compassion for themselves and others.  

No one is perfect. We are all a mixture of many influences, emotions and unmet needs.   

Deep experiential personal development assists the therapist to look at themselves in a supportive safe space, in moving towards a place of acceptance and even self-love. Such growth in being who they are now, must extend into the therapeutic relationship, within professional boundaries, so clients can feel safely held.  

All of the trainings I hold, involve profound personal development that is experiential, as we know that the growth and light inside the therapist is extremely important to the therapeutic process for the client.  

It’s gratifying to see so many of my trainees, some with former extensive psychotherapy education and experience, grow and self-heal significantly though the powerful professional development that takes place throughout our trainings.   

 A client who is met by someone who has reached a place of more authenticity, wisdom and inner strength is fulfilling a vital starting place in the therapeutic process, for optimal outcomes for client progress or recovery.   

Here we may truly offer unconditional positive regard.   

This is the first of three blogs exploring these questions with Yildiz.

1 What is it about the therapist that is required in the therapeutic process for optimal outcomes?

2 What is it about the therapy that is required in the therapeutic process for optimal outcomes for client progress or recovery?

3 What is it about the client that is required in the therapeutic process for optimal outcomes for client progress or recovery?

When I use the word psychotherapist I include counsellors, hypnotherapists, mental health workers, psychologists and social workers. People who help people.

1 What is it about the psychotherapist or counsellor that is required in the therapeutic process for optimal outcomes?  

 We are highly relational beings requiring love and connection for wellbeing. Psychotherapists and counsellors enter their profession often with a sense of purpose and the intention of making a difference to those who seek their services.   

However, psychotherapists are human. They come from a family system with history, conditioning, culture and their own life experiences and an innate personality and outlook on life. Most of this is held unconsciously in the mind, body. This is both positive and problematic, simultaneously.  

In seeking help, clients seek human connection. Someone they can relate to, who sees and hears them with understanding and compassion and assists them in finding solutions, new perspective or assists in their healing journey. Most of all they need someone they can trust.  

The problem for an aware psychotherapist is, how can they prevent their own problems, triggers, biases and preferences from seeping into the therapeutic relationship?  

Counsellors and psychotherapists are required to take part in clinical supervision for the whole of their professional lives. This provides them with a regular safe, confidential, professional space with their supervisor of choice, to discuss professional or therapeutic conflicts, ethical dilemmas and to highlight any entanglements, unconscious bias or avoidances that may be occurring with clients.  

In my experience, while this is helpful, many inner conflicts and unmet needs may still slip through, undetected.   

I know that in the education of counselling and psychotherapy, there is a lot of emphasis on theory, reflection, role play, reading, assignments and discussion. As a former educator in ACAP, I know all of this is essential. However, a lot still goes under the radar, as we seek to protect our vulnerabilities in avoiding going deeper in a teaching forum for many reasons. We may not feel safe to open up in a traditional education forum as this is normally not set up sufficiently as a therapeutic space.  

The trainings I offer are experiential. I know that for change or inner resolutions or healings to take place, it needs to involves the whole of who you are. Many people do embark on their inner healing journey alongside their education courses, which I highly commend. However, many believe, perhaps because of common beliefs, that cognitions and understanding are paramount. That in learning about counselling or psychotherapy philosophy , theory, techniques and practice that somehow they will be transformed sufficiently through the course process into personal growth. They may indeed gain awareness and knowledge and skills, that are cognition and mind based primarily. This is only one level of growth.  

If they embark on a course where experiential learning is a strong component of their education, the learning will be more embodied.  

In entering training with live, experiential learning, that involve opportunities to experience themselves and what they hold deep within, the learning is deeper and more profound personal development. Particularly if this takes place in a safe, well structured, compassionate yet professional holding space. From such trainings people emerge with the professional knowledge and skills and also growth and with clearer boundaries and less entanglements.  

I believe clients’ sense whether a therapist has or is dealing with their own emotional baggage and have or are in the process of coming through them with greater wisdom of the complexities we all face of being human. 

This provides a sense of safety, and space for the client in the presence of a psychotherapist who has compassion for themselves and others.  

No one is perfect. We are all a mixture of many influences, emotions and unmet needs.   

Deep experiential personal development assists the therapist to look at themselves in a supportive safe space, in moving towards a place of acceptance and even self-love. Such growth in being who they are now, must extend into the therapeutic relationship, within professional boundaries, so clients can feel safely held.  

All of the trainings I hold, involve profound personal development that is experiential, as we know that the growth and light inside the therapist is extremely important to the therapeutic process for the client.  

It’s gratifying to see so many of my trainees, some with former extensive psychotherapy education and experience, grow and self-heal significantly though the powerful professional development that takes place throughout our trainings.   

 A client who is met by someone who has reached a place of more authenticity, wisdom and inner strength is fulfilling a vital starting place in the therapeutic process, for optimal outcomes for client progress or recovery.   

Here we may truly offer unconditional positive regard.   

 See my

Books

Trainings

Private sessions

Family Constellations workshops

David

‘As a manager I was ready for a new way of connecting with my team and creating a new and motivated culture that is both respectful and co operative. The Business Constellation helped me see how it was possible to improve team spirit and performance.’

David

Mandy

Yildiz is a grounded and skilled facilitator guiding the Constellations with wisdom, sensitivity and clear boundaries creating a sense of safety that enables deep processing to unfold. I found it to be a profound experience touching into deep & lifelong soul pain.

Mandy
Psychologist

Margarite

The sessions with Yildiz have been profound and yet so gentle

Margarite

Tom

There has always been something niggling at me deep inside, but I could never get to it. I can’t believe how free I am now. A great relief.

Tom

Diane Rooker

"I have worked as a counsellor for many years with a number of modalities and at times and at times some of these techniques were limiting in finding a final resolution for the client. EMI goes directly  to the core of the issue, works within it on many levels to create a new neural pathway. Absolutely fantastic. The EMI process is quick and effective."

Diane Rooker

Jackie

I am both gob smacked by the power of Family Constellations and at the same time jumping with inner joy. As I left our session I drove down the road realising my eyes had changed and with that my view on life is and will continue to also change. So many things about life are starting to make much more sense on all levels, it’s like a missing link. Many thanks

Jackie

Jane

My ability to have relations has been seriously impaired since my sexual abuse. I can’t believe that just a few sessions of EMI and Rapid Core Healing I am so relaxed and optimistic about finding a more sustaining relationship. I leave with alight heart.

Jane

David

I had a history of trauma in my life and there has been a lot of trauma in my family too. It wasn’t until I came across Yildiz that I found out that this was something that didn’t have to continue. True to her word I am now feeling so much more at peace with myself and my past. A great gift.

David

Jana

Yildiz's is subtle but very strong facilitator and I would trust any story to be explored under her guidance in a safe and supported way. If you're ready for deep work, you're in the right place with her.

Jana

Steve

My Family Constellations experience was truly life-changing. I was so surprised that such a gentle technique could create such wonderful changes throughout my thoughts and feelings. Amazingly, I am also experiencing the healing of a disease I have been suffering from for several years. All the symptoms are disappearing, and I have completely stopped taking anti-inflammatory medication. I have become very enthusiastic about getting out more, and living a full, pain-free life!

Steve